The Father With His
Head Up His Ass
Dad arrives at the beach with 4 and 7 year old boys in
tow. It’s a beautiful day, perfect for
some father and sons bonding time. Sun,
sand, surf, perfect. However, it did not
play out that way. To start with, the two
boys race to the water, leaving dad fiddling with, of all things his hat. Yes his hat.
It goes on your head. There isn’t
a whole lot to fiddle with. Well maybe because
this guys’ head is so far up his ass the hat just won’t fit. See, remember the two little kids? They are
now being slowly carried out by the tide.
Having a 7 year old in charge of a 4 year old under any circumstances is
asking for trouble. In the middle of the
ocean, well this is a recipe for disaster.
So dad leaps into action. He drops
his hat, and picks up their hats! I kid
you not. Then he takes a leisurely
stroll to the kids. Puts their hats on
and walks back to his umbrella. As soon as he turn his back the two boys are whisked off into the current
again. By now they are a good 75 feet
from shore and it dawns on dad that the little one might need his life
jacket. I’m in the water keeping about
10 feet between me and the kids waiting for dad to show up, the little one is
bobbing up and down in the water like a lobster buoy, and the big one is
splashing. Dad finally secures the life
jacket and hauls the little one back to the shoreline. Whew!
No sooner does he gets the little one secured when mom saunters down to
the shore, totally oblivious to dad’s near miss. She proceeds to take her iPhone into the
water and photograph here boys. Not a
smart either. Water and electronics don’t mix and there is no way the Apple
Care will accept the excuse of dad rescuing his children from drowning. Oh, did I mention, dad can’t swim to save his
own life much less that of his kids!
By Barry and Sallyanne Scott
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