I'm Just One Of The Girls!

Today I found out that I was one of the girls. In some circles that bit of cheery news would probably be viewed as fantastic.  Not in my circle though. I am a guy. So just how did this gender inversion happen? Well, truth be told, I am an elementary school teacher in a profession pretty much dominated by women.  In most cases, I am either the only guy in the building or one of a small minority.  That’s okay with me until the lunchroom talk starts centering on ”women talk.”

I have had to sit through untold discussions of pregnancies, complete with blow-by-blow descriptions of water breaking, childbirth, and nursing.  Stories of wedding plans, doofus husbands, inconsiderate boyfriends, bridal showers and pediatricians liven up my day.   Today the discussion was about how uncomfortable it was doing Pilates when you are bloated and cramping. I immediately looked skyward, silently pleaded to make it stop, and started to roll my eyes. It was then I was informed of my new status.  That was when my cramped and  bloated colleague looked at me and said, "Oh Barry, I consider you one of the girls!"   My worst nightmare has now come true.   Barry Scott, expert in martial arts, Giants, Bruins, UFC fan, and all around tough guy is now one of the girls.  I didn’t know whether to laugh, cry or go home and tuck into a pint of Ben and Jerry’s. 

We don't discuss  sports much, although we had some good critiques of the Super Bowl commercials. The David Beckham commercial was a big hit with my girls.  I, being a former guy, was too wrapped up in the game to concentrate on the commercials.  I watched it on Youtube and wasn’t too impressed.  Too many tats and he did misspell his wife’s name in Sanskrit.  I do manage to talk a bit about the Boston Bruins, but invitations to the newest handbag party usually shout me down.  Handbags/manbags; I hear they are big in Europe. 

Well, maybe my newfound gender won’t be too bad.  I can talk about the latest chick-flick without being embarrassed. I can have my wife mow the lawn or plow the driveway and not feel guilty.  Most importantly, I can finally ask for directions. 

The Burger Quest Continues; BGR The Burger Joint

I know it’s hard to believe, but I haven’t had a good burger in a while.  A colleague of mine told me about a burger place that recently opened in West Hartford Center; BGR The Burger Joint.  I was immediately intrigued because there is some stiff burger competition in that area.  So my wife and I decided to check it out.

BGR The Burger Joint is a franchise burger restaurant.  The beef is hormone and antibiotic free, grain-fed beef.  In addition to hamburgers, they also offer turkey, lamb, ahi tuna and of course a veggie burger.  The veggie burger was interesting in that you can actually order it with applewood smoked bacon.  Must be for the porcine-vegetarians.  Yum!  The lamb burger (The Greek) won a Bobby Flay “throwdown.” 

We walked into the place at around seven in the evening and it was fairly crowded.  The walls were dark blue with maple wood trim.  The ceilings were painted black giving the place an industrial look. Classic album covers festooned the walls.  Aja, by Steely Dan, Born In The USA, by Springsteen and my current workout jam, Some Girls by the Rolling Stones.  We found a table and sat down.  Immediately, I wasn’t happy, as there was some food left on the table, from the previous customer.  Looking at the floor also revealed more food and paper goods.  On top of the filth, it was freezing cold at our table—cold enough for patrons to be wearing their coats. This did not bode well.  It was pretty much downhill from there. 

I walked up to the counter and was told to “hang on for a sec” by one of the clerks.  Apparently talking on his cell phone was more important than talking to a customer.  After more than a few “secs” a young lady with an inordinate number of facial piercings took my order.  I was beginning to lose my appetite.   I ordered the “The Wellington; Roasted mushrooms, caramelized onions, garlic with a touch of mustard seed and blue cheese. Served on a fresh, buttery toasted brioche bun with mojo sauce.”  My wife ordered “The Burger.  This is the one that ‘put them on the map.’ Served on a fresh, buttery toasted brioche bun with applewood smoked  bacon and cheese.”   Your basic bacon cheeseburger.  We ordered Yukon Gold Fries, onion rings and, get this, grilled asparagus spears served with Parmesan cheese. Gotta have some fiber in this sea of protein and fat.  

The pierced one took my order and gave me a pager.  A few minutes later our order was ready.  Visually it looked stunning.  One bite from my burger told me otherwise.  The blue (bleu) cheese was way too salty. This cancelled out any other flavor from the burger. The burger itself was, well, McDonald’s-ish.  Dry, bland, and chewy meat.  The only juice was the mojo (mo-ho? mo-fo?) sauce, which was dripping off the burger in buckets.  The onions and mushrooms were lost.  Maybe they drowned in the mojo sauce. My wife was equally un-impressed.  Her burger was dry and overcooked.  Mojo sauce was not going to help hers either.  The only saving grace was the brioche buns. They were phenomenal.  Fresh, soft as a cloud, and very flavorful. 

The onion rings were very good.  Huge rings of sweet onion, lightly battered and absolutely grease free.  A dipping sauce would have been nice.  The Yukon Gold fries were supposed to have been cooked with some special overnight secret process.  They tasted like every other order of French Fries I’ve ever had in some less than average diner.  The grilled asparagus were good. The Parmesan cheese was freshly grated and very tasty. 

All that with two Cokes set me back $35 and some change.  To say we were disappointed was an understatement.  We were within walking distance of The Counter and Max Burger.  Both stellar burger joints.  If they want to compete against these two places, they are going to have to step up their game.  BGR The Burger Joint will not be seeing the likes of us again. 

I, Am An iPod!

I’ve noticed that there are two kinds of people who go to the gym; the iPods and the noPods.  The iPods are plugged into their devices and are happily humming tunes as they work out.  The NoPods have no devices and therefore their only source of entertainment at the gym is you.  Yes, the noPods will try to engage you in conversations when all you are trying to do is to sweat off last night’s meal. 

I was enjoying my workout reverie when a dreaded New Year’s Resolution noPod newbie cornered me. “Is this the chest press?” she innocently asked.  Well, I had to stop, unplug myself and actually engage her in a conversation.  “Yes it is,” I gruffly answered as I pointed to the rather large CHEST PRESS label prominently displayed on the machine.  Then in an unexplained fit of kindness I showed her the MILITARY PRESS, the ROWING MACHINE and the LAT PULL DOWN.  I’m sure she got the point. I quickly shooed her away and went on with my workout.  The nerve!

It got to the point where as soon as I entered the locker room, I plugged myself into my iPod.  That stopped when I was changing my shirt, got tangled in the earbud wires, and nearly choked myself.  I now change at work thus minimizing my time in the locker room.  Most guys my age (present company included) don’t look too terrific with their clothes on.  Trust me, having a conversation about earned run averages with a fat, sweaty, naked, guy whose junk is gently swaying in the breeze from the electric hand dryer is no walk in the park. 

As I walked into the locker room today the talk was naturally about the Superbowl.  I was the only iPod in the room. Uh oh, this can’t be good. I actually turned the volume up before I sat down to change.  I pulled off my running shoes, quickly got into my old sneakers and hoodie, and jammed my New York Giants watch cap on my head.  The cap is bright red with a large white NY logo.  As I was leaving someone asked me who do I like for the Superbowl.  Still plugged in, I pointed to my cap and replied, “New Yengland!”

Sweet Chicken Bacon Wraps

I've been looking for some Superbowl nibbles and came across these.  I changed the recipe slightly.  I brined the chicken for about an hour before I cooked it.  Also,  I broiled them for a few minutes before serving.  That helped to crisp the bacon a little more.   My wife doesn't like chili powder, so the ones in the back are simply dredged in brown suger.  They were delicious.

Sweet Chicken Bacon Wraps

Makes 12-15 wraps

4 boneless, skinless, chicken breasts 

1 (1-pound) package sliced bacon

2/3 cup firmly packed brown sugar

2 tablespoons chili powder

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.

2. Cut chicken breasts into 1-inch cubes. Cut each bacon slice into thirds. Wrap each chicken cube with bacon and secure with a wooden pick. Stir together brown sugar and chili powder. Dredge wrapped chicken in mixture. Coat a rack and broiler pan with nonstick cooking spray. Place chicken wrap on rack in broiler pan. Bake 350 for 30 to 35 minutes or until bacon is crisp.

The End Of A Great Weekend; Rain; A Beatles Tribute Band

I was eleven years old when I saw The Beatles for the first time.  It was Sunday night, and they were the headline act for The Ed Sullivan Show.  All week long people were talking about their appearance with great anticipation and excitement.  The Ed Sullivan Show was a variety show that ran from 1949 to 1971.  It was a television version of vaudeville that featured, musical groups, circus acts, comedians, novelty acts and more. 

Finally, the show started.  Ed Sullivan announces them and they open with All My Loving, then Till There Was You and She Loves You.   I was mesmerized.   My parents naturally ridiculed them.  “Look at their hair,” said my father, “they look like girls!” They played two more songs in the second half of the show: I Saw Her Standing There and I Want To Hold Your Hand.   My mother was equally unkind.  “I can’t understand the words,” she cried.  I knew, at that moment, things would never be the same again.   My parents hated them; I naturally loved them. Within a few months, kids were growing their hair longer and buying Beatles records (yes, those black vinyl disks that scratched way too easily). I even had a Beatles wig and a Ringo doll. The British Invasion had begun.

The Beatles, along with the other countless bands from England, helped shape my listening habits and love for music.  Unfortunately, due to the tragic shooting of John Lennon and the untimely death of George Harrison, a Beatles reunion is impossible.  Or so I thought. 

A few years ago, I was channel surfing and came across the local PBS station airing a Rain concert.  Rain is a Beatles tribute band that not only has a successful Broadway show, but a phenomenal road show as well. They don’t just sound like the Beatles, they ARE the Beatles.  They look, sound, act and talk like them.  Their musical ability is scary.  The singing, harmonizing, guitar playing and drumming is on par with any top-notch band on the scene today. 

Last night was our fourth time seeing them at the Oakdale Theater in Wallingford.  The Oakdale is my favorite concert venue.  The seating is great and the acoustics are out of this world.  Traffic was a nightmare because they were sold out, but they delayed the show until most people were seated.  We made our way to our seats and settled in.  A couple in back of us had never seen the show and was curious as to how good it is.  I assured them that they were in for a great time.  The couple to the left us should have worn their Depends.  They could not stop getting up and peeing.  Oi Vai!

On the video screen, a montage of the sixties is playing. An Ed Sullivan impersonator introduces them and the curtain goes up.  Rain breaks into I Want To Hold Your Hand.  The audience is stunned.  Close your eyes and you are listening to the Beatles.  The band is dressed in black suits, white shirts and skinny black ties.  “Paul” is playing the bass left-handed.  “Ringo” is playing Ludwig drums.  The monitors are simulcasting the show in black and white.  Remember this is supposed to be 1964.  They continue with This Boy and then I Saw Her Standing There. 

“Paul” does a beautiful acoustic solo of Yesterday.  Remember he played the bass left-handed; well he played the guitar right-handed.  I cannot even begin to fathom how difficult that is.  A quick costume and set change and you are now at the famous Shea Stadium concert. That crowd was so loud that The Beatles couldn’t hear themselves through their monitors. 

As we travel through the albums with them, the videos change to reflect what was going on in the cultural and political fields.  From a  commercial of Barney Rubble and Fred Flintstone taking a Winston cigarette break, Prell Shampoo(the pearl included), Duz detergent with free stockings, to Woodstock, Vietnam and the Moon landing.  During intermission, Beatles’ trivia questions were displayed.  Did you know that Stu Sutcliffe, the original bassist left the band for Astrid Kichherr, a world-renowned photographer?  Cherchez la femme. 

One of the most notable songs of the evening was a brilliant arrangement of Norwegian Wood. “Paul” played electric bass while “John” and “George” played acoustic guitars.  “Ringo” kept the groove by simply playing a tambourine. It was extraordinary.  Another fun song was I’ve Just Seen a Face.  “Ringo” was playing the brushes with a two-beat drum groove.  The effect was almost (I hate to say it) country. 

At the end of the show, everyone was up on their feet singing, dancing and smiling. It was such an amazing concert.  I would recommend it to anyone who is a Beatles fan.  You will not be disappointed. It will make you feel fifteen all over again!

Set List

I Want To Hold Your Hand

All My Loving

This Boy

I Saw Her Standing There

Hard Days Night

I’m Happy Just To Dance With You

Yesterday

I Feel Fine

Day Tripper

Twist And Shout

Sergeant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band

With A Little Help From My Friends

Eleanor Rigby

Strawberry Fields Forever

When I’m 64

Sergeant Pepper Reprise

A Day In The Life

Hello Goodbye

I Am The Walrus

Norwegian Wood

Do You Want To Know A Secret

There Are Places I Remember

Two Of Us

I’ve Just Seen A Face

Come Together

Get Back

Revolution

The End

Encore

Give Peace A Chance

Let It Be

Hey Jude

The Start of a Great Weekend

Went to Abigail’s Tavern last might with my favorite cousin Cindy and her husband Mark.  Formerly the Pettibone Tavern; It has been a local landmark in Simsbury since 1780.  George Washington was thought to have stopped there during the Revolution.  My wife and I began going there in 2007 and have been enjoying their food ever since.  Oh, and it is rumored to be haunted.    The story goes that Abigail Pettibone was married to a sea captain who was gone for long stretches of time.  Well, you know what is coming next; she got lonely and randy and was enjoying herself with her lover, when lo and behold, Captain Pettibone comes home unexpectedly.  Enraged to find his wife in “flagrante delicto,” he kills them both with an axe.  Ouch!  There have been many reports of paranormal activity in the restaurant.  It was even the subject of a T.A.P.S. investigation; who incidentally, didn’t find any evidence.  Oh well, it is still a good story to tell.

Anyway, my cousin, well actually second cousin, and I have known each nearly all of our lives.  I am five months older than she is, a fact that she has never let me forget.  When her birthday comes around, I revel in the fact that she is getting old too. We also grew up near each other- she in Fairfield, I in Trumbull.  Our mothers were fairly close cousins as well.  Both our mothers are still around, and that is always a topic of conversation because they continue to drive us insane.  Her husband is a terrific guy and they have two daughters whom I absolutely adore.  The great thing is that when we get together, we can yack it up ‘til the cows come home. 

We were seated in a small, comfortable room with a cozy fireplace. I started off with an ice cold, Grey Goose martini and a plate of oysters.  Ahh! A great way to end the week, and begin the weekend.  As always, I think back to the person who first took the plunge and ate a raw oyster.  That guy was brave.  The oysters were on point. Mark ordered a very nice Coppola Syrah. We nibbled on some warm Parmesan bread sitting a pool of extra virgin olive oil.  We ordered another one as the first plate was quickly dispatched.   

My wife had the Maine Lobster Pasta, Cindy the Atlantic Ocean swordfish (a favorite of mine) and Mark and I went with the Free Range Chicken with Portabellas. As always the service was impeccable and the entrees cooked to perfection.  We talked all night about our kids, other family members, work, books, movies, politics, and everything and anything.   For dessert my wife and I split a Chocolate Croissant Bread Pudding and Cindy and Mark split a Crème Brulee.  Yeah, the desserts were exceptionally delicious.  I was pleased that they enjoyed the place so much, as it is probably my favorite restaurant.  We had a great night out and I’m so happy that I can share this journey called life with my favorite ‘cuz and her family.  Can’t wait to see you guys again! 

Cheddar Cheese Chicken Tenders with Wilted Spinach

I decided I couldn’t wait for the Superbowl to make the Cheddar Cheese Chicken Tenders with Wilted Spinach.  I figured that watching the Ravens hopefully beat the Patriots would be a good enough excuse to try them out.  I also decided that I wasn’t going to make the wilted spinach.  After all, I am watching football, not the Biggest Loser. 

The recipe is simple enough to follow, so I’m not going to go into great detail.  I did make two changes though.  The first change was that I used a chicken breast instead of chicken tenders.  I didn’t feel like making a special trip to the grocery store, so I defrosted a chicken breast and thinly sliced it lengthwise.  The other change was that I brined the chicken for about an hour.  Brining makes the chicken more tender and flavorful.  In a large bowl, dissolve ¾ of a cup of Kosher salt into a gallon of water.  Place the chicken into the water, and place the bowl into the refrigerator for about an hour.  Some people add other things to the brine such as sugar, garlic, onions etc.   Feel free to experiment.  Brining really makes a difference when you cook chicken.  You won't believe the difference in flavor.

I assembled the troops, dipped the chicken into the bowl of mustard, coated the chicken with the crumbled crackers, arranged them on a greased half sheet pan, and popped them into the oven for about fifteen minutes.  I turned them after eight minutes to so they would brown evenly. 

When the timer went off, I poured out some ranch dressing, and sat down to watch the game.  They are delicious.  Hot out of the oven, dipped into cool ranch dressing.  Yum!  Very little prep time, easy to make; a perfect Sunday afternoon football snack.  Enjoy.

Click here for the link to the recipe