Saturday, July 22, 2017

Introducing Barry 2.0.

Let me preface this essay by saying that I recently retired as a teacher.  It was a great job. I loved it. 

Let me preface this essay by saying that I recently retired as a teacher.  It was a great job. I loved it. 

I must say that this retirement business is pretty cool.  I mean, I’m enjoying it.  Immensely.  I feel that I have hit the reset button and have morphed  into Barry version 2.0.  Barry 2.0 has a totally different mindset than the former, working at a job, Barry.  Here is an example.  The day after my final day at work, I caught a cold.   The old version of me would have ranted and raved.  “Those little germ factories! Had to give me cold.  Blah blah blah.  Lost a week of my precious summer vacation!”  Right?   Not Barry 2.0.  Nope.  “Cold? Oh well, I guess I’ll just have to stay home, binge watch Netflix, and nap, la-de-da.”  See, much improved.  I got up at 11:30 this morning.  Who does that?  Retired Barry 2.0 does.   

And that’s not all.  I can plan stuff without having to fit everything into one summer vacation.  Usually, I run around so much during the summer that instead of being rested, I’m exhausted at the end of it.  First day back from summer vacation, I want to faint.  I have to take a nap every day for a week just to get back to something that resembles normal. Not any more.  Uh-uh.  Now I can go on vacation in the fall.  Awesome!  

The old me would start losing his mind as soon as August hit.  June is a chill month. July, very languid and relaxed. August? It flies by, fast AF, and before you know it, I’ll see you in September.  What? Where the hell did the summer go?  Now? Every day is Saturday, every week is vacation week.  And I’m a vacation kind of guy.  So Barry 2.0 is liking this a lot.  

Old Barry would  balk at going to  a concert or a hockey game in the middle of the week.  “I have to call in “sick,” make up lesson plans, and besides it will take me FOREVER to recover.  Barry 2.0?  Not only am I going to see a concert during a work week, it’s going to be on Sunday!  And speaking about Sunday.  No more  Sunday night dread!   Barry 2.0 no longer deals with that shit.  Uh-uh. A thing of the past my man.  A thing of the past.  

Before the update, people would come up to me and ask what am I going to do after I retire.  Most wanted me to get a job.  Ah, hello?  I am retiring from a job.  I am retiring from a job that I love, to get a pay cut, and work in something that I will most likely hate?     I was hard pressed to figure that out.  The point of retirement is NOT to work.  Even the old version figured that one out.  

I know what you are thinking.  Barry 2.0, you suck!  Perhaps I do, but  you too will be here soon enough. In the meantime, I’m going to buckle up tight and enjoy the ride.  

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