The Father With His Head Up His Ass
Dad arrives at the beach with 4 and 7 year old boys in tow. It’s a beautiful day, perfect for some father and sons bonding time. Sun, sand, surf, perfect. However, it did not play out that way. To start with, the two boys race to the water, leaving dad fiddling with, of all things his hat. Yes his hat. It goes on your head. There isn’t a whole lot to fiddle with. Well maybe because this guys’ head is so far up his ass the hat just won’t fit. See, remember the two little kids? They are now being slowly carried out by the tide. Having a 7 year old in charge of a 4 year old under any circumstances is asking for trouble. In the middle of the ocean, well this is a recipe for disaster. So dad leaps into action. He drops his hat, and picks up their hats! I kid you not. Then he takes a leisurely stroll to the kids. Puts their hats on and walks back to his umbrella. As soon as he turn his back the two boys are whisked off into the current again. By now they are a good 75 feet from shore and it dawns on dad that the little one might need his life jacket. I’m in the water keeping about 10 feet between me and the kids waiting for dad to show up, the little one is bobbing up and down in the water like a lobster buoy, and the big one is splashing. Dad finally secures the life jacket and hauls the little one back to the shoreline. Whew! No sooner does he gets the little one secured when mom saunters down to the shore, totally oblivious to dad’s near miss. She proceeds to take her iPhone into the water and photograph here boys. Not a smart either. Water and electronics don’t mix and there is no way the Apple Care will accept the excuse of dad rescuing his children from drowning. Oh, did I mention, dad can’t swim to save his own life much less that of his kids!
By Barry and Sallyanne Scott