Friday, February 3, 2012

I, Am An iPod!

I’ve noticed that there are two kinds of people who go to the gym; the iPods and the noPods.  The iPods are plugged into their devices and are happily humming tunes as they work out.  The NoPods have no devices and therefore their only source of entertainment at the gym is you.  Yes, the noPods will try to engage you in conversations when all you are trying to do is to sweat off last night’s meal. 

I was enjoying my workout reverie when a dreaded New Year’s Resolution noPod newbie cornered me. “Is this the chest press?” she innocently asked.  Well, I had to stop, unplug myself and actually engage her in a conversation.  “Yes it is,” I gruffly answered as I pointed to the rather large CHEST PRESS label prominently displayed on the machine.  Then in an unexplained fit of kindness I showed her the MILITARY PRESS, the ROWING MACHINE and the LAT PULL DOWN.  I’m sure she got the point. I quickly shooed her away and went on with my workout.  The nerve!

It got to the point where as soon as I entered the locker room, I plugged myself into my iPod.  That stopped when I was changing my shirt, got tangled in the earbud wires, and nearly choked myself.  I now change at work thus minimizing my time in the locker room.  Most guys my age (present company included) don’t look too terrific with their clothes on.  Trust me, having a conversation about earned run averages with a fat, sweaty, naked, guy whose junk is gently swaying in the breeze from the electric hand dryer is no walk in the park. 

As I walked into the locker room today the talk was naturally about the Superbowl.  I was the only iPod in the room. Uh oh, this can’t be good. I actually turned the volume up before I sat down to change.  I pulled off my running shoes, quickly got into my old sneakers and hoodie, and jammed my New York Giants watch cap on my head.  The cap is bright red with a large white NY logo.  As I was leaving someone asked me who do I like for the Superbowl.  Still plugged in, I pointed to my cap and replied, “New Yengland!”

No comments:

Post a Comment