Tuesday, December 13, 2011

I Moved Like Jagger And Ended Up In Physical Therapy

I'm not a big Maroon Five fan, but the song “Moves Like Jagger” has been rattling around my head for some time, and I can't seem to shake it. I actually saw them six years ago when they were the warm up act for, you guessed it, the Rolling Stones.  I don’t recall Adam Levine moving like Jagger when he was on the stage.  But then again, I just had major knee surgery, and was taking Vicodin for the pain, so I don’t recall a whole lot from the concert anyway.

 In any case, the Stones are going to be celebrating their 50th anniversary. Hard to believe.  Mick Jagger is 68 years old. I'm not so certain that he even can move like Jagger anymore.   I’m ten years younger than he is and to be honest, I don’t move like Jagger either.  I know that on some days when I get up, I don’t even move like Barry.  I move more like grandpa.   The last time I tried to move like Jagger, something twisted and I had to apply ice to my shoulder.

Every day brings a new ache or pain. I lovingly refer to it as the Ache du Jour.  Where will it strike? My wife says that I probably slept funny. But I don’t remember being amused at three in the morning. I most certainly didn’t wake up, laughing hysterically at the ache/shooting pain in my _____(insert body part here). 

I’ve been going to physical therapy lately for some routine maintenance on my neck.  I’m not sure if I slept funny or moved like Jagger, but I need a bit of a tune up.  It’s an eye opener walking into the physical therapy room.  The only people that are moving are the therapists.  Everyone else is moving like, well, actually, they are not moving at all.  Broken feet, bad knees, bum elbows, and sore necks. The therapists push, pull, kneed and bend the broken parts.  I have been hooked up to a traction machine that “gently” pulls my head in an attempt to separate it from the rest of me.  Ten minutes of that and I have actually grown.  I can move without an ache, a pain, a throb or a twinge.  Maybe I cannot move like Jagger anymore, but I bet I can still move like Keith Richards!  

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