Thursday, April 28, 2011

My First Tweet

I recently opened up a Twitter account because, well, it’s the 21st century. I don’t know a hash mark from a hash pipe, but it is amazing as to the shear enormity of people out there tweeting.

One very curious thing about Twitter is that I currently have five followers and I haven’t even tweeted once.  Imagine, five people are sitting on the edge of their chairs waiting for some profound thought from me.  And I have to write it in 140 characters or less mind you.  Whoa!  The pressure.  I mean, if I mess this up, five people are going to question their judgment, their being, and their very existence.  I am overcome by the utter enormity of the task at hand. I am competing with extremely profound thinkers.  Here are some examples of what I am up against.

Spencer Pratt- “Be like water.”  Wow!  How reflective!  Those three words seem to me to be a celebration of the abundance in postmodern society. 

Kanye West- “Context is everything... something good taken out of context can become bad.” Another deep thinker.  Something good becomes something bad surely reflects the duality of moral opposites. 

Rhianna- “BAp BAp BAp!!! Cuz don't get on too dibby pun hay gal.”   I couldn’t have said it better myself.  I am simply stunned by her insight and eloquence. 

I feel so incredibly inadequate when I compare my more mundane thoughts.  Things like, “What up dog?” or “Hello world,” seem so, pedestrian.  I need something that will make my followers proud that they are following me. 

I’m nervous and a little scared. If I post, will they love me tomorrow?  Will they tweet back? What if I tweet too soon?  Should I have a drink or two to relax me?  Okay, steady now, here it is...  “Busy is better than bored.”

That was fantastic!  I hope it was good for them too! I’m just going to light up a cigarette and bask in the afterglow. 

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