I recently opened up a Twitter account because, well, it’s the 21st century. I don’t know a hash mark from a hash pipe, but it is amazing as to the shear enormity of people out there tweeting.
One very curious thing about Twitter is that I currently have five followers and I haven’t even tweeted once. Imagine, five people are sitting on the edge of their chairs waiting for some profound thought from me. And I have to write it in 140 characters or less mind you. Whoa! The pressure. I mean, if I mess this up, five people are going to question their judgment, their being, and their very existence. I am overcome by the utter enormity of the task at hand. I am competing with extremely profound thinkers. Here are some examples of what I am up against.
Spencer Pratt- “Be like water.” Wow! How reflective! Those three words seem to me to be a celebration of the abundance in postmodern society.
Kanye West- “Context is everything... something good taken out of context can become bad.” Another deep thinker. Something good becomes something bad surely reflects the duality of moral opposites.
Rhianna- “BAp BAp BAp!!! Cuz don't get on too dibby pun hay gal.” I couldn’t have said it better myself. I am simply stunned by her insight and eloquence.
I feel so incredibly inadequate when I compare my more mundane thoughts. Things like, “What up dog?” or “Hello world,” seem so, pedestrian. I need something that will make my followers proud that they are following me.
I’m nervous and a little scared. If I post, will they love me tomorrow? Will they tweet back? What if I tweet too soon? Should I have a drink or two to relax me? Okay, steady now, here it is... “Busy is better than bored.”
That was fantastic! I hope it was good for them too! I’m just going to light up a cigarette and bask in the afterglow.